Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Sentence Summary: The experiences of suffering, griefing, and reconciliation are shown through the perspectives of Oskar Schell, the 9-year old son of a 9/11 victim, and his grandparents, survivors of the Dresden fire-bombings.
Paragraph Summary: Oskar Schell, a 9-year old whose father was killed in the 9/11 terrorist attacks, is having a very difficult time dealing with his grief. He is a very intelligent boy who is constantly coming up with imaginative inventions, some of which add to his depression. One day, he finds a key in his fathers closet with the word 'Black' written on the envelope. He discerns that this must be someones last name, and decides to contact every person in New York City with the last name Black. On his quest, he encounters many interesting people, several of whom tell him their life story. One of the Blacks who lives in the same building as him befriends Oskar and begins accompanying him on his visits. They grow close. During the time of his quest, Oskar's mom also deals with her grief, but in a much more reserved manner which angers Oskar. Also, letters from Oskars grandparents are revealed at varying intervals. These letters outline their unusual relationship and their personal struggles with grief and suffering. Oskar unknowingly meets his grandfather near the end of the novel, and his grandfather is very happy to be in his life, although he does not know how to express this. Oskar finally finds out that the key opens the lock box of one of the Blacks dead fathers. He is disappointed, but appears to be coping with his grief in a much more positive manner at the end of the novel.
Close Reading: Pg. 239: "I couldn't tell what he was feeling, because I couldn't speak the language of his feelings."
In this sentence, Oskar is expressing his inability to understand what emotion Fo Black, a Chinese-speaking man, is feeling during their encounter. Prior to this sentence, Oskar comments on how the language barrier between himself and Fo makes their exchange difficult. Because of this, I was initially inclined to understand this sentence as Oskar simply commenting on the language barrier between Fo and himself. However, after examining the nature of Oskar's narrative, I feel that this statement has deeper meaning than this. Throughout the novel, there are several hints which indicate that Oskar has written his narrative after experiencing all of the events which he writes about. For example, on page three, he says, "I've only been in a limousine twice ever" despite the fact that he does not discuss his second time until very late in the novel. This establishes the retrospective nature of Oskar's narrative. He is writing about these events well after they occurred, which means he has had the opportunity to gain new insight into or to develop new perspectives on these events. On several occasions early in the novel, Oskar expresses an inability to understand how his mother is feeling about the death of his father. He does not understand why she does not appear to be as upset as he thinks she should be. This makes him very upset. At the very end of the novel, Oskar has an emotional conversation with his mother and begins to understand that she has been dealing with and expressing her emotions in a much different manner than himself. He has begun to understand that people have their own way of feeling, or their own 'language'. He expresses this new perspective on people's feelings through his story about Fo. This raises some questions. How many of Oskar's perspectives were formed after reflecting on the events of this novel? How many of his opinions were altered after all the events of this novel had occurred?